


recovery time

by Skyuni123



Series: pacific rim uprising was pretty gay y'all [1]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Best Friends, Fix-It of Sorts, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pacific Rim Uprising, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, SERIOUSLY THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE, Spoilers - Pacific Rim Uprising
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 20:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14065476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyuni123/pseuds/Skyuni123
Summary: Hermann and Newt, trying to make things work.(POST PACIFIC RIM UPRISING)Tuesday evening. 5.20pm. The middle of a Kaiju liver dissection. Very standard, not very interesting, Kaiju blue everywhere, quite acidy.The door slides open. It's him.





	recovery time

Recovery takes… time. 

It feels like days, could be months, weeks, years - hell, he doesn’t know. 

Doesn’t know much anymore, if he’s honest. 

 

Ten years of having an ancient alien god-shaped hole in his head does that to a guy.

And it sucks. Really, it does.

 

Even after the days of NLP, of hypnosis, of drifting with various artificial entities, even after they pull the odd-shaped Kaiju sucker off his temporal lobe and pronounce him ‘cured’, everyone still looks at him a little funny. 

Newt supposes it’s fair enough. Nearly ending the world deserves a bit of social scorn, yeah?

That doesn’t make it hurt any less.

  
  


Even though he was being controlled by the Precursors, he was still in there. It was ten goddamn years of watching his experiments be corrupted, his data ruined, his personality errode. 

And yeah, it sucked.

 

The Precursors really didn’t like 80s punk, either. They’d always make him listen to classical. 

Ten years of that almost hurt more than the social suicide and (near) end of the world. 

  
  


They let Newt continue with his experiments, post the whole ‘causing the end of the world’ thing. They toss him in a basement in the Chinese Shatterdome, set up armed guards and throw away the key.

It’s probably fair enough. 

There’s a lot of intel to classify, lots of Kaiju parts to cut up - everyone has to pitch in and help. They’re not going to kill him, which is one nice thing to come out of this entire shitstorm. 

 

The silence is deafening in his new lab. He almost wishes for Hermann’s calculated movements and finely-tuned neuroticism. It’d make a change from the bubbling of his tanks and that one pipe leading to his decontamination shower that doesn’t stop dripping.

They don’t let him have music here, either. Hermann would love that. He  _ does not. _

 

He’s spent ten years locked inside his own head and all he can think about now is  _ Hermann.  _ Goddamn, what a change. He’s not seen the guy since his brain was put back together, which he supposes is fair enough.

He did try to murder him, after all. Nearly 20 years worth of friendship doesn’t easily make up for that.

  
  


Tuesday evening. 5.20pm. The middle of a Kaiju liver dissection. Very standard, not very interesting, Kaiju blue everywhere, quite acidy. 

 

The door slides open. 

Newt’s guard, Bobby, shifts imperceptibly towards his gun. Most people wouldn’t notice it, but Newt’s seen him do it enough lately - from his pizza delivery, to the arrival of Jake and all - that it’s old hat by now. 

The occupant doesn’t immediately enter, so Newt shrugs and goes back to his dissection. 

 

“Newton!?”

 

_ Oh.  _ Well, that makes a change. He continues the dissection, doesn’t bother looking up, “Hello dear. Missed me?”

 

He can feel Hermann’s eye twitch without even looking at him. “Don’t worry, he’s not going to hurt me. Or I him, for that matter. Put your weapon away.” 

 

Bobby seems to hesitate on that for a moment, but then sits back down. “I’ll be watching.” He warns.

 

“Yes, yes. Of course.” Hermann approaches the dissection table quickly, in what is a blatant disregard for lab safety. “Newton?”

 

He finally decides to look up. Better to get it over and done with. “Hi Hermann. How can I help you?” 

 

Hermann doesn’t look well. Neither of them do, really, if he’s honest. He’s pale (paler than usual, and that’s pretty hard to do), with heavy bags under his eyes. He’s even stooping more than usual. He looks like he’s either come off the back of a bender or he’s been multiple nights without sleeping.

Fuck, when did they both get so old?

 

“Your new lab is positively ghastly.” The man says, looking around with some disgust. “They really gave you the short end of the stick.”

 

“Yep.” Newt finishes boxing up his samples and peels his gloves off, tossing them in the direction of the waste disposal. “The whole ‘end of the world’ thing didn’t do anyone any favours. Bet you’re somewhere nice, though.”

 

“Right at the top.” Hermann replies, looking like he can’t decide whether to pity him or murder him. “Lots of sunlight.”

 

“Yeah.” 

 

The silence is very uncomfortable. It didn’t used to be, but then again, he’d kinda gone and fucked that up too. It feels static-y. Hot. He can taste metal on his tongue. 

 

“When you weren’t… you,” Hermann says, fiddling with the end of his cane with some hesitance, “you invited me around for dinner. I was… wondering if I could still accept that offer?”

 

“Oh  _ yes,  _ with Alice!” Newt choruses, far too loudly and awkwardly. It feels a bit like his head’s about to explode. “Yeah, well, I would have shown you Alice and invited you into my big evil plan and all, but they killed her like they killed everyone else when they raided my apartment, so I think I’ll have to pass on that one.”

 

He breathes out sharply, suddenly. He feels like he’s spiraling. Is he spiraling? Is this what spiraling feels like? Everything suddenly feels far too hot. Hermann’s looking at him like he’s  _ worried.  _ He shouldn’t be worried. He’s worried more than enough for the both of them.

Newt doesn’t realise how big the lump in his throat has gotten until he can’t breathe past it. Everything’s going a bit too fast now. Things usually go fast, but it’s usually a productive fast, like synapses firing in a Kaiju brain. This isn’t a good fast.

Hermann grasps him around the bicep and nudges him back a few steps. “How about you try sitting down for a moment, Newton?” He gestures towards the seat next to him. “I’ll fetch you some water. Take a few deep breaths for me.”

 

“I c-can’t.” Newt stutters, slumping into the chair. He’s trying to pull in a breath, his chest heaving. Why can’t he breathe, why can’t he breathe, why can’t he-

 

“You’re having a panic attack, Newton.” Hermann pulls a chair opposite him and sits down. To Bobby, he snaps, “Make yourself useful, man. Get him some water.”

 

A panic attack. Of course. He should have thought of that. Dammit. His mind’s not what it used to be. He takes in another shuddering breath. “S-sorry.”

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Hermann replies, firmly, and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Aside from drifting with that  _ verdammte  _ Kaiju in the first place. Now, breathe with me.”

 

He breathes, visualises his chest opening up, filling him with air. It’s life fuel, isn’t it? He thinks he may be a bit dizzy. 

But Hermann’s hand grounds him. Since when did he get so tactile? First the hug, now this? It’s been a long ten years.

Bobby hands him a glass of water and he raises it to his lips, trying hard to stop his hand from shaking. It doesn’t work. Why doesn’t it work?

The water is cool, but does very little to ally the heat in his head. He wipes a palm across his face, not wanting Herm- anyone to see him like this.

Hermann’s hand squeezes in a little, and suddenly he can breathe again.  _ Fuck.  _

 

“This is ridiculous.” The other man abruptly stands, dragging him with him. “This treatment is inhuman. Come on.” 

 

“It’s what ya get for causing the end of the world, dude.” Newt slurs, tripping over the words and his own feet at the same time. “They don’t like me very much.”

 

“Well, we’re going outside now. Come on.” 

 

Hermann’s  _ furious _ , he realises. Strange. 

 

“He’s fine.” Hermann glares at Bobby, who’s back in his seat. “I’m taking him with me. And -” He bites back as Bobby starts to stand, “You’re not coming. I know you’ve tagged him like an animal. We’re not going to leave the base. You can find him if you need to.” 

 

Bobby raises his hands in mock-surrender and sinks back into his chair. “Whatever you say, sir. The Marshal won’t be happy, is all -”

 

“The Marshal can-” And then Hermann goes into an  _ tirade  _ of German at Bobby, most of which is completely filthy and definitely not suitable for work hours.

Newt would feel sorry for the guy, but he actually is kind of an asshole.

 

“We’re leaving, Newton.” And  _ then,  _ Hermann’s pulling him out of the lab, pads of his fingers digging pleasantly into his side.

 

The door slides shut behind him.

Wow. This is the least supervision he’s had in  _ weeks.  _ He’d dance about and all, but he’s really not feeling it right now. 

 

“Barbarians, the lot of them.” Hermann mutters, still managing to drag him along and limp violently at the same time. “Just because you nearly caused the end of the world.”

 

“Yeah, I did nearly cause the end of the world. They don’t exactly like that kind of thing.”

 

“That’s still not a reason to treat you like an animal. Especially since you were compromised at the time.”

 

“Eh.” He still can’t get over how angry Hermann is. He’s seen the guy mad, sure, but not on his behalf. It’s actually kinda nice. “Oh yeah! Sorry for nearly strangling you to death.”

 

“You had a collective of alien gods in your head.” Hermann says, dryly, mad limp slowing to a crawl. “I’m trying very hard not to hold it against you.” 

 

“Even so.”

 

“Just don’t do it again.” Hermann actually looks like he’s trying to smile at him. Weird! Weird weird weird weird.  

 

Hot damn, he’s missed this.

  
  
  


Hermann takes him to his lab, which is awesome and sunny and has the best view out across the ocean. He also doesn’t have any dripping pipes.

Then, he leads him out of the dome itself and onto an upper balcony, set with tables and chairs. It’s nice to see the sun. Newt’s not sure when he last saw the sun, and he doesn’t know when he’ll see it again, so he relishes in it, tilting his head back and forth and sticking his arms out as wide as they’ll go. It seems to wipe away the nervousness, the shakiness, the heat in his head. It’s nice. 

 

He can tell that Hermann’s sitting down by the sound his cane makes when he places it against the chair. It’s those little idiosyncrasies that he’s missed the most, he thinks. 

He can also tell that Hermann’s still pissed, even with his eyes closed. “You’re thinking too loud.”

 

“I’ll just stop doing that, shall I?”

 

“Would make it easier.” 

 

“Be quiet, Newton.” Hermann says, but there’s fondness in it. Hermann having human emotions? Disgusting. 

 

“No.” He replies, opening his eyes and coming to sit across the table from Hermann. “I only ever get to talk to Bobby and he is the worst of men. You’re marginally better.”

 

“I will take that as the compliment that I suppose it was.” Hermann’s having trouble meeting his eyes again.

 

For the love of god, and Kaiju, and everything, what is it  _ this  _ time? He’d prefer it if he didn’t have another panic attack today, at least. “What are you not telling me, Herms?”

 

“I’m not ‘not telling you’ anything. Before. In the lab. The dinner offer. Minus Alice. Were you serious?”

 

Wow. It takes a lot to get Hermann down to monosyllabic. He mulls it over. Dinner. With Hermann. It could be worse. Any chance to not be in the lab sounds good. Why would Hermann be so nervous?

But then it dawns on him. He’s gotta still be suffering a bit from the Kaiju, because he’s not been this slow in years. “Holy fuck, Hermann, are you asking me out?”

 

Hermann shifts edgily in his seat, gaze firmly locked on the glass tabletop, “I wouldn’t put it quite like that, but yes. Do you accept?”

 

“Shit, man, we’ve known each other forever. Yes! Of course! How are you only asking me now?” He doesn’t even need to think about it. The idea fits neatly into his head, right into the hole that the Kaiju left. Hermann’s a bit of an ass, but they work together. Every since they’d drifted it’d been obvious how much they need each other. (Of course, the whole ‘alien in head’ thing had gotten in the way… but this works.) 

 

Hermann looks up, and meets his eyes. He’s smiling - well, at least as well as Hermann can. “You haven’t been replying to my emails for the last ten years. I could never find a way to ask.”

 

“Well, Kaiju are clones so they don’t really have a sex drive, so that’s kinda been on the down-low for the last ten years. Just warning ya now. You might have to remind me of some things.”  Newt says, cheekily, and is rewarded when Hermann goes completely scarlet. 

This is  _ weird.  _ Really weird. It’s a good weird, though, like finding an extra ten bucks in a pair of jeans, or discovering that your best friend is in love with you. He’s never really thought about Hermann in this way - except for that  _ one time  _ just after they’d drifted together and he kept on getting flashes of what Hermann got up to in his college days (and who he got up to) - but… it’s good. 

Hell, if it all goes pear-shaped, their friendship will probably survive. It’s weathered enough so far, and he doubts the entire Kaiju-filled universe could pull them apart by this point.

 

“Would you like dinner now, Newton?” Hermann pulls him from his thoughts yet again.

 

At this point, it seems like he’s going to have to keep Hermann around to stop him spiraling into a maniacal mess again. “Hell yeah, Herms.” He stands up, and offers Hermann his arm, feeling better than he has in days. “Tell me, do you kiss on the first date?”

 

“You’ll just have to find out.”

 

Well, he’s always liked a challenge.    
  


**Author's Note:**

> my boys <3 <3
> 
> check me out on the [ tumblr ](http://villainousfilmmaker.tumblr.com)


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